Living up to ourselves

Years ago, on a bright, sunny day, I remember the six year old version solemnly promising to herself as she sat  on the swing, pondering on the greater things in life,that she would ‘never ever’ in her life,stoop to using ‘bad words’ like ‘mad’, ‘stupid’ and ‘idiot’.Despite her efforts, she did eventually break that promise and used those very words as well as ones far worse. Now to me, they’re just words like so many others I use on a normal basis. Even so, every now and then, I get a little uncomfortable wondering what the young me would think of me when I do so and whether I’m disappointing her.

I shudder at the thought of putting on black nail polish because just about 3 years ago I found it grotesque and ugly. I told every person who listened that I’d never be seen with it on. Wearing it now would be betraying my younger self, wouldn’t it?

Every once in a while[or more often than that] I do a lot of stupid stuff and say things that are a wee bit dumb. I make mistakes every day of my life. After that I laugh at myself about it. Right now I’ve given my future self complete license to be as stupid as possible and later laugh long and hard about it.I can't stop wondering though, what about the younger me?Wouldn’t she feel rather indignant about being laughed at, even if its by herself? As far as she is concerned, I’m a foreign person-someone she doesn't know at all because she has obviously changed a lot growing up, and she could not have foreseen that coming since time and experiences change all of us and we can do nothing to control it. We all change a little every day of our lives.Some words,thoughts and emotions which are so important and epiphanic at the time of their becoming, irretrievably slip out of your mind like a wispy breeze when you and your state of mind changes.

Can we ever be sure of doing the right things at the right time so as not to regret them later?Can I ever know if I’m betraying my younger self or would she be okay with me talking freely about her? Or would she resent me for it? How will I ever know? All I can do is hope she is as cool as I remember her to be xD

For the most part,on the inside-in my mind, heart and soul I think I've grown up to be someone I would have wanted to become and liked. Why, for all you know, if i somehow could meet my younger self, I could have  a girl crush on me now ;)

By Nirmitee Mehta

Career Conundrums

The delicate and infantile age of about 4 is when most of us make our first premature career decision. "Ma, when I grow up, I want to be a teacher!" and from there begins the string of career options we weave for ourselves, ranging from animated ones like pilot and "that-person-on-the-tv" to more serious, thoughtful and sane options like lawyer,doctor,banker,etc.
How easy is it for us, during our adolescence, to have a new ambition each day? I'd wanna be an air-hostess today, but owing to the fickle-mindedness and frame of mind of a child, I could wake up the next day declaring to become a journo, yet noone would question me- instead I would be encouraged with a smile(and sometimes a little clap,too); my parents going along with whatever I proclaimed, knowing that this is just their juvenile baby talking. As we grow older, the seriousness of these decisions dawn upon us. "What are you going to do with your life ahead?", becomes a deeply feared question, furtively longing to be ignored. It doesn't help that we're constantly reminded of those few odd contemporaries who predict rather confidently how their next 10 years are going to shape up - only to add to our growing insecurity.
Why this fear? Why the ignorance? Why are we so apprehensive to take a decision and stand by it for the rest of our lives?


Pressure. It's the pressure that we are inept of withstanding. Pressure from parents, from peers, from those galling relatives who wouldn't stop asking about our future plans... But the pressure of the highest magnitude is, ironically projected from ourselves. The pressure of choosing something that the 25-year old version of ourselves has to live with, the pressure of ensuring that that version of us doesn't look back to the present day with regret or compunction.
Career decision-making in today's time is not just merely about making a profession out of something one enjoys doing. It involves a series of complex parameters, as one has to take into consideration the competition involved, the job security, the satisfaction, the lifestyle that it'll facilitate, and not to forget, the money-which apparently seems to make this cynical world go round.
I am not an expert in judgements like these - hell, I've managed my choices even more erratically than the monsoons of India. But all I can vouch for is that this phase of perplexity in every teenager's life is inevitable, and to rise above it, going with what You feel is right (and not getting influenced by others) is what makes you a winner. The only way to know whether you've made the right decision is to follow it, which only requires you to be courageous, intrepid and ambitious. I believe that if one chooses wisely, follows it with whole-hearted aspiration, stays clear and concrete throughout... That 25 year old version has got to be living a pretty awesome life. :)

By Chahita Lalchandani